I write a lot about challenging comfort zones because I have seen the positive effects it has had in my life. Challenging our limits though can feel like a roller coaster sometimes. For me, it hasn’t been easy to unlearn habits like negative self talk, feelings of less than worthy or simply lacking confidence on any stage. Being the empath that I am, I have sought out many paths to healing including counseling, yoga and most recently, energy healing with Reiki. I continue to add to the contradiction and complication of myself by looking for ways to heal and fulfill my potential. Because of this, my conservative nature and free spirit have a lot of conversations these days. Most of my life I have fought with that energy that I feel in my own body and coming from the world but, beginning with yoga, I began to open up to new ideas and figured, if it can help me heal my mind/body/spirit, I’m in.
Yesterday, as I laid on the table and Neda, from Tara’s Garden (who I can’t wait to have on for a podcast next week because I want to understand so much more about her training and what she feels) gently laid her hands on me, she targeted my deepest fears in the first few moments of lying there. I have been to see her twice now, and the accuracy with which she talks to me about my feelings and what is going on in my life is mind blowing. I tell her a few things about what is going on, kids, work, that type of thing, and yesterday she spoke to my most insecure feelings from the start. Her words…
“What’s the fear about?”
“It’s ok to be successful. It’s ok to be seen. It’s ok to be beautiful. You are not taking away space from anyone else.”
Wow. It’s like I’ve been sitting on a couch talking to her for years.
If you’ve never felt these things, I can understand why it would be difficult to connect with these words, and that’s ok. But with these words, Neda spoke to my deepest fears, the things I am working to overcome everyday.
I came up with two practical, if not slightly quirky, tools to help me in this journey towards confidence and freedom and they are helping me beat my old mindset.
I don’t have to order off the happy hour menu.
I realized that so often I am looking to accommodate, to try and guess what makes things easier for people around me. I looked at others as if they had something I didn’t and told myself that I was really good at being average, helping and pushing other people forward on their journey. There is a lot of comfort in that, especially if you have the work ethic to back it up. Every day hums along and I could do great things on a small scale, but in the back of my mind there was always this feeling that there was more to do, more that I am meant for. When that feeling would come up and I would act on it though, it would cause me personal problems that would quickly rob my energy and put me back in my place. Being that I am happy with simplicity most of the time, it was easy to convince myself that the happy hour menu was where I belonged…cheaper prices, fewer options and so very safe.
The only one focused on me is me.
This thought works to alleviate the stress I feel when I believe that eyes are on me. Most of the time, people are doing what they need to do for themselves, and I am a very small part of their picture. This realization has also helped me to embrace the challenge of making my dreams come true myself. I don’t have to wait for someone else to validate or give the stamp of approval on my plan. That’s one of the cool things about the entrepreneurial mindset…I’m the only one who has to have my vision, no one is stopping me from putting it out there. Frankly, I need to be tough enough to put it out on my own, without someone in front of me telling me it’s good or it’s ok.
In a few hours, I’m getting on a plane to travel to p1440, Kerri Walsh Jennings’s Inaugural event that is Beach Volleyball, Health and Wellness and Music all in one spot. Sounds like heaven to me. I’m going to connect and talk with people who you may have never heard of, but who have risen to the tøp of their field or game. As always, I want to learn from them and share pieces of their wisdom that every generation can learn from when they are ready. Life in so many ways boils down to small choices and what I have figured out is that it’s not about being famous, it’s about making your mark in a positive way in the world, big or small. I want to tell the stories of the people you think you already know, the ones you have never heard of and anyone in between. Anyone living their dream with passion is so inspiring to me, whether you sell books, make movies or serve coffee to strangers with a smile.
So often it’s the little things we do everyday that add up to the big results. I have always believed this, but that belief caused me to be very hard on myself and rob me of the energy it takes to create flow in my life…I understand now, grind is not flow. Small choices are easy, today I will take them one at a time, not take myself too seriously and have fun.
Hope you find your flow today…