I sit here with a cat lying on my computer, which is often the case, so I have taken to writing blogs on my IPhone, both because of the cat’s affinity for the keyboard and, because I can write and collect thoughts on the go.
The deeper I sink into this writing life, and my experiences become writing material, I’m trying hard to walk the line of being present and taking it all in, and remembering the feels from brief notes so I can take them deeper when I finally arrive to a quiet creative corner. I wake up in the night, jot down an edge of consciousness thought that snuck in before I fully awoke, and fall back asleep.
Writing has helped me in so many ways. It has built my confidence, helped me sort through deep feelings and, in short, given me deep gratitude for my life. Journals are my favorite way to go back and see how far I’ve come with my mindset and abilities, which keeps me striving forward when my energy is waning. I truly believe we never “arrive” and are meant to enjoy the ride, learn from it, and keep moving ourselves forward.
As I get ready to launch a Life Design Coaching business, I have been thinking a lot about how I went from:
“Life coaching? What the heck is that?”
“Using my story to help myself and other people sounds pretty cool.”
Even when I was younger, all the way back to hating nearly every day of junior high that didn’t have a game that would get me out of class early to play, I knew how to make my days better. It was always, music, alone time, sports, one or two good friends, and my cat that would bring me back to that place where I could say,
“tomorrow is going to be better.”
So basically, nothing has changed. I’ve just learned a few more lessons along the way that have made my life a much more sustainably happy place and it’s good to take inventory on some of my favorite realizations.
I am happier today because:
I stopped trying to fit in.
In this world, it’s common for any of us to judge a book by it’s cover, even though we never really know the full story. Maybe we go as far as to read others like a picture book, but rarely like a novel, which leaves us with huge gaps in knowledge, making assumptions and affecting the way we relate to each other. That’s why I’m thankful today to not be afraid of the work that it takes to truly know myself…flaws, triggers, and all the good stuff. Everyday, I use this knowledge to drive myself forward and then, the rest of the world, and what they think, do, or say fades away. Sometimes things still hurt, but I know they can’t change who I am unless I let them, so I just keep the focus on my own improvement and let the rest fall away as best I can, knowing that no one feeling or situation lasts forever. We all have different stories and, in the end, we earn connection with being real, not changing ourselves to fit in.
I learned to trust myself.
As humans, we all make mistakes, and for a long time, I would beat myself up pretty bad over even the little ones. This habit made me feel less than, and held me back by crushing my energy before I could set and accomplish big goals. This mindset kept me treading water instead of swimming forward, even though I knew there were greater places I wanted to go. When you don’t trust yourself, the other voices are louder and make those goals and places feel so far away. They can also make you question situations that make you happy. Today, I can take one step at a time, and avoid the overwhelm that comes with the opinions of others, because of the trust I have built in myself. I have a deeper understanding of what is best for me, and there is a much smaller circle that I allow to weigh in on that.
I breathed deeper, reacted slower and accomplished more.
Basically, this is my thank God for yoga point. Deep breathes literally stimulate your parasympathetic nervous system and bring a state of calm to the body. I don’t think I had ever felt the depths of that calm before I started my yoga practice. In that place, urgency and overwhelm fade away, and I can slow down and know that not everything that crosses my path should get a reaction from me. What I learned on my mat, I have taken off, and the most amazing thing about it is that in this stillness, I accomplish more. No more running around, giant to do list, feeling frantic. Just fulfillment in what is accomplished, and a calm plan of how to work through what lays before me. With this understanding, I can roll with what comes at me and build confidence as I realize that I am far stronger than I once thought. This calmness leads to productivity and cuts away the anxiety that comes with second guessing and taking in too many other opinions. We are the writers of our own stories and need to experience both the joy and the responsibility of that fact.
My entire life, I have enjoyed being coached. I’ve used the wise words of others and their drive to inspire me and teach me toughness that I didn’t think I had in me. I’ve also learned a lot spending years listening and pushing other people forward to achieve their goals when I was afraid of the spotlight. We all have things everyday that we can work on to be better and inspire ourselves and those that we love. We all have times we need to ask for help or can be the one who lends the hand to someone else. More acceptance, less judgment…something I am focusing on every day. I am energized by the thought of a world that works like this.
If we do the work, and ask for help when we need it, this journey has no limits for any of us. What would add to your happiness? What stands in the way of that? I would love to help you answer these questions and more if you are feeling stuck. With solid listening, complete trust in your abilities to handle what comes at you and no drama, I have the ability to help you see life circumstances in new ways. In the end, learning and teaching are not so far apart and together, if we use our experiences to find our truth, we make our own story great.