The Wrinkles of Time

As far as my look goes, I have always been a naturalist.  I’ve never been particularly good with makeup or hairstyles, ask my kids…my boys had shaved heads from the time they were three and my girls learned to do their own hair at a young age, or look slightly on the ragamuffin side wherever we arrived.  On dance recital day (a very short lived period in our house) I used to send them down the street to Mrs. Schuh to have hair and makeup handled. So the other day, as I sat at the med-spa (a combination of businesses that I have only recently discovered) with a needle in my arm drawing blood to check my hormone levels, out of nowhere, a doctor swung around the corner and asked me:

“When are you going to let me take care of this?” as she pointed to the crease in between my eyebrows.

“I’ve always been natural.” I replied. “I like my expressions.” 

“Well, it’s so deep, I don’t think I could get it all out anyway.” she quipped nonchalantly. As she walked away, she practically instructed the nurse to get me scheduled.

Wow.  Aging.  Hormones, wrinkles, injuries, bodies that work differently than they used to…and we have to decide what works for us. I don’t fault anyone for the choices they make for themselves and how they figure out getting and staying comfortable in their own skin, it’s an individual and daily process.  But, as I continue to peel back layers of myself and let my ego and true self banter back and forth, for me, the way I feel continues to win out over the way I look.  

I enjoy exercise…volleyball, yoga, swimming, lifting weights, because they make me feel strong and happy.  I’ve had to figure out healthy ways to manage how I feel because I feel every little thing.  Life as an empath is a bit like the Princess and the Pea. My body stores tension from life’s challenges and experiences and movement is healing. 

What struck me from that brief exchange with the doctor was how little her opinion affected me.  Yes, I am aware of the deep wisdom line I have between my eyebrows. Yes, I am aware that I don’t look the way I did when I was 20. Yes, I have my own thoughts about what bothers me about my face and body changing on certain days.  But what I know, is that the dialogue is between my two ears…what she had to say to me didn’t matter, even a little. As my friends on the court this morning told me as I relayed my funny story, boy was she barking up the wrong tree. What a blessing to spend time around people who get me.

As I celebrated my daughter’s 19th and my mom’s 70th birthday last Sunday, I sat smack in the middle of their two ages, in my very own backyard, in a relaxed setting, hosting my family and friends and calm enough to just observe.

There is so much grace and beauty at any age if we live from the inside out with faith and consciousness.  The good life starts in our soul, and our souls don’t wrinkle. 

They strengthen when they learn from a challenge, when they choose to feel, instead of numb, they deepen with positive relationships based on mutual attraction, love, and respect.  Our health and vitality is unified with our true self, our vanity is our ego. And ego always leaves us chasing something that is just beyond our reach. Being at the stage of life where you realize that life doesn’t all of the sudden start reversing itself, that there is no going back, can be scary some days.  But forward with calm and conviction is turning out to be a beautifully imperfect, even wrinkled road…so we work from what is, and go with it.

And for now…I’m not scheduling that appointment.